June 20, 2014

I’m still wrapping my head around the idea of a blog. How often does one post? What do I post? Do people want to read the thoughts in my head? Do they just want poetry? Do they just want “profound” lofty musings? I don’t know. I suppose time will tell… It’s weird… this feels like a public journal or diary. Memoirs. From someone not important enough to write them… so I guess that puts me in the same place as most of the celebrities who have written their memoirs… Ha! I was just smart enough not to publish and try to sell! 😉

I don’t really feel like I’m writing to anybody… cyberspace… how scary can that be really? It’s like singing in the shower – nobody is there to hear you… and here… nobody’s really reading. It just occurred to me that I may have just created the most over-the-top journal ever! A quick trip to Walmart for a spiral notebook would have sufficed… it wouldn’t be as fun though, so I guess I’ll try to settle in. If I see “follower” numbers dropping off like dead flies (all six of you!) I’ll know I have headed down the wrong path.

My idea for this blog is just to write whatever comes to mind. I don’t know how personal to get. I’m a pretty open book when I write but much more private in person. I will say this… my family is off limits after my initial “introduction” below and friends are only brought up in a very impersonal unnamed manner…none of them signed on for this. With that said…there is already a limit to the blog content, but I think that’s healthy.

A little more background so that you can understand my posts which may sometimes seem dark or sad. There has been a lot of loss recently and that is something that I am hoping this blog can help me work through in a healthy manner …I am in my fifties (dear God is that for real?) married and have two adult children who are both married. I have ten siblings…six sisters and four brothers all from the same mother and father (yes…Catholic😉). My dad died from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) or more commonly referred to as Lou Gehrig’s Disease when I was 24.  I was married at 18 for three years and my ex-husband, who is the biological father of my children, died a little less than a year ago. My mom died this past December from a rare form of vasculitis called Wegener’s Disease and my first grandchild, a sweet little baby girl, died last week at four days old. She was born with a rare chromosomal defect – Trisomy 18. Yes… it looks like normalcy does not exist in my family too much, and that’s okay because we have a lot of “good” abnormal too. 😊 But just in case this wasn’t enough, in the past two years I have also lost six aunts and uncles. I tell people that if I were related to me I would be getting pretty nervous! 😉

Now…after all of that…I absolutely need to say this – do NOT feel sorry or bad for me. I have a good life and am generally a happy person. I have waaaay more good in my life than any bad. It’s just a rough patch in life that we all must go through at times and I wanted to share only to give you perspective. LIFE IS FRIGGIN’ GOOD…most of the time… 😉

Ciao Amici!