“If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I’d like to do
Is to save every day
‘Til eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I’d save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you”

These lyrics are from the Jim Croce song “Time in a Bottle”. The song’s been playing through my mind tonight. I’m sure other people have this same “phenomenon” happen to them – often a song will start going through my mind that I haven’t heard or listened to in years, and when it gets to my consciousness I realize that the lyrics in the song that my subconscious conjured up, are a direct hit on what I’m feeling on an emotional level. I’d understand if they were current songs I had been listening to recently, but they’re years and sometimes decades old.
I see how this song is speaking to me tonight. I had a wonderful day with good friends and fun, and I’m ok tonight – I really am, but a sadness has crept in. I know it’s momentary. I know that soon it will have passed.
It’s a week of anniversaries. Maddie’s birth and death earlier this week and my Dad’s death today.
I’m not bothered by the sadness tonight though. I think it’s a bit of a gift. It makes me pause and spend time with my thoughts and feelings. I couldn’t have expressed any better than this song does, what I’m feeling tonight. Thoughts of Maddie, or Mom and Dad’s deaths aren’t making me sad today I don’t think. What these anniversaries ARE doing though is making me realize how much I love the people in my life and don’t want to lose them. That’s where tonight’s sadness is coming from. Because I’ve been through it so many times, I know there’s no guarantees in life. The old die and the young die. I wish I could stop time and I wish I could find a way to let the people in my life know how much they mean to me before I can’t anymore, but that’s not how things work. Each loss that’s mourned can serve to remind me of the good in my life. That’s how I’m choosing today. If only I really could save time in a bottle.

Ciao amici ❤️