I went past your house tonight Mom.
I thought I’d see you in the window waiting for me to come.
Your plants were missing, replaced by empty dirt. Your swing was gone as was the welcoming familiar easiness that stood guard at your door.
I thought I’d see you tonight Mom,
scurrying to come out to the car and leave the loneliness inside.
But your door opened and in your stead was an old woman that I didn’t recognize.
She was taller than you with darker complexion. She appeared to have ownership of her surroundings and I didn’t like that. She glanced at me as if wondering why I had stopped. I couldn’t smile…I couldn’t wave. She was not you.
I don’t know if a day will come when I can go there and not see you at the window or sitting outside your door enjoying the quiet peacefulness. I wish I could scream loud enough and hard enough that you would come back…that you wouldn’t really have been gone. I miss you so much. I miss you so much.