All of my memories and all of my dreams are locked in my piano. And when I use its keys to unlock my life, a beautiful story indeed unfolds…
This is how I am feeling tonight. Sometimes I look for quotes that say what I’m feeling…but sometimes, like tonight, I write my own from my heart, and my heart is full for a lot of reasons. It’s a good full and I have so much gratitude that I can’t begin to express it all, but I want to. I am so blessed and mostly this blog has been used to navigate through my losses of this past year and a half but there is so much good in my life too. And it begins in so many ways with the music. My amazing family continues to support me to no end when I play the piano and to cheer me on while I’m learning. And there’s my dear friend and life teacher, who has brought music back into my world in so many ways which even more importantly – in turn has brought me back to who I am.
With my Mom…there were a lot of things I didn’t see eye to eye with her on. You know some of those little things that get under your skin but in the end really weren’t that important. But I honestly see so many similarities too. I really think Mom understood me in a way I never realized before. As time is passing and my grief is waning I see things more clearly. My Mom was an artist…and anyone that has ever seen me draw knows that I inherited absolutely none of that from her…to the point of ridiculousness. But…because of her artistic side she knew me. I truly believe with my whole heart that she understood my depression over the years and I also believe that she is responsible for this beautiful piano that sits in my living room. She knew I was missing this part of my life and she knew when she left us that I was going to need it more than ever before. So thank you Mom. With my whole heart I thank you. The piano sits here in the room that you died in…and because of it I can bear this room and remember the good things and find my “self” in the music again.