“Sensitive people are the most genuine and honest people you will ever meet. There is nothing they won’t tell you about themselves if they trust your kindness. However, the moment you betray them, reject them or devalue them, they become the worse type of person. Unfortunately, they end up hurting themselves in the long run. They don’t want to hurt other people. It is against their very nature. They want to make amends and undo the wrong they did. Their life is a wave of highs and lows. They live with guilt and constant pain over unresolved situations and misunderstandings. They are tortured souls that are not able to live with hatred or being hated. This type of person needs the most love anyone can give them because their soul has been constantly bruised by others. However, despite the tragedy of what they have to go through in life, they remain the most compassionate people worth knowing, and the ones that often become activists for the broken hearted, forgotten and the misunderstood. They are angels with broken wings that only fly when loved.” Shannon L. Alder
I found this tonight and was pretty taken back by it. I’m sure there are others of you that see yourself in this description. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out why certain things affect me when, logically in my mind, I know they shouldn’t. I think I’m finally getting to a point where I’m realizing it’s just who I am. It’s my make-up and that won’t change. Call it what you want – hyper-sensitive, empath, bleeding heart…it all boils down to the same thing and now the key is working on how to not let that part of me get in my way. It’s weird…it’s like trying to be super aware of your reactions to what people do and say so that you don’t internalize each thing that’s said – but the only way you can do that is to – right! Internalize it. Ugh!! I don’t know…thank God I have a good sense of humor. I think it’s my only saving grace sometimes. What are you going to do? We all have our shit. She’s just so spot on…highs and lows? Are you kidding me? There are days I feel like a bungee cord…
But here’s the thing…why this passage above matters so much to me. If you’ve read some of my other posts you know that I have been struggling for awhile to figure out what I refer to as “the sad”. Why do I feel it so often…what happened in my life to make me feel the way I do… Well…isn’t it possible that a lot of it is just who I am? I’ve felt this way in one form or another as far back as I can remember. Maybe there are no other reasons that I have to figure out..maybe it’s as simple as it’s just who and what I am. Maybe realizing this can set me free in a sense. Just knowing that there is an innate reason is comforting to me because I can at least understand that. It makes sense. When the sad comes I don’t need to dwell on the why of it anymore. I can let that part go which in turn will make it easier to move through the sad and leave it behind.
The hard part is over with…the road to self-acceptance is in front of me now and I’ve got my hiking boots on…and you know what?? They’re feeling really good!