“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ― Lao Tzu

Wow…this is loaded. Actually a paraphrase of my friend’s advice to me over these past months. I think I’m finally starting to wrap my head around this somewhat. I am a resister. A real, true, bonafide, dig my heels into the ground, fighting tooth and nail resister. I’m not proud of that, but I’ll admit it. I hate change if it’s unexpected and not a change for what I view as “the better”. So what do I do about how I react to change? You got it – change!!!
I am really going to give this a shot…although I know it goes against every fiber of my being. I’m so curious as to what life would be like if I didn’t fight it so hard. I have no control over life. My intellect knows this. I just have to convince my “being”.
So…with that decided…I wonder…what kind of ride to expect going forward? I’m anticipating a good one! I know that not fighting change doesn’t equate necessarily to good things happening…but! I have gone many months now expecting the worst outcomes in situations. I know it’s a result of what I just went through, but it’s time. It’s really time to start looking at life in a more positive light, like I used to. My god, there’s just so very much good in my life and I want to embrace it and live it. I have so much great ahead of me! I have amazing friends and family…and damn it! I love!! I love life…I love living fully and it’s time to do that again. It’s been a loooong time… And when I admit to myself – allow myself – to be happy…well…it’s exhilarating! I know I’ve talked a lot about loneliness recently…I think I can work with that too. I have options – I can make choices. Loneliness is often a state of being for me but I think the more I own that…the less lonely I’ll be, because I’ll know to try to fill the voids somehow.
So yeah…let’s see what this new outlook brings my way…let’s see how well I can ride the ride!

Ciao Amici!!

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